Greetings From Fatherhood
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Greetings From Fatherhood
5 things I learned in my first week as a dad
Big news… I’m a dad!!
Jack Everett Dreyer surprised us on 4/20/23 and my life has been amazing, chaotic, exciting, stressful and magnificent ever since.
And I’m back from my writing hiatus to tell you all about it.
Everything about Dad Life is brand new to me. And it really is as great as everyone says it is.
But so much of it is way different than I expected.
From baby needs to sleep to free time… basically everything is the opposite of what I thought it would be.
So I’m sharing some early lessons and hoping I can help out a future dad in the process.
Here are 5 things I’ve learned (on babies, fatherhood and fitness):
#1: Feed Windows Are LAW
Priority #1 since baby Jack arrived has been getting him fed.
And this flipped all my preconceptions about why you don’t get any sleep as a new parent.
Newborn babies know how to sleep. It’s basically all they do!
New parents don’t get any sleep because they have to wake the baby up every 2-3 hours for feeding.
Which is bringing back some 4x4x48 memories…
Our little guy showed up at 6 lbs 11 oz and lost a little weight in Day 1 of life.
So getting him fed has legitimately been the most important thing every single day.
This has been tricky and stressful because of the next learning…
#2: Latching Is Hard
Breastfeeding has been the #1 challenge by a mile so far.
We’ve had some great sessions in the past few days, but we’re not fully in the clear and we’ve had to earn every bit of the progress we’ve made.
(I tried to help with breastfeeding, but all that came out of my nipples were egg yolks and cold brew).
On one hand, we are committed to breastfeeding and avoiding formula.
On the other, our little guy has struggled to “latch” and getting him milk right from the source has been freaking impossible.
So we’ve been mostly relying on my wife pumping and me bottle feeding (while she pumps again).
It’s been mentally exhausting (for both of us) to balance trying to breastfeed while prioritizing getting him fed.
Fortunately, we got some donor milk (at an unsustainable $40 for 4 oz) on Day 3 and had a friend provide us with a ton of her excess breastmilk shortly after that.
My wife’s supply has mostly matched baby Jack’s needs, so we’ve been self-reliant for 95%+ of his intake.
But both those sources were life savers in the first few days as her milk was coming in.
#3: My 3 Keys To Supporting My Wife Postpartum
I learned a long time ago that waiting to be asked (told) what to do around the house is a great way to bring stress and conflict into a relationship.
I imagine that’s now 1000x more true with a week old baby and post-partum wife.
Just being around is one of those intangibles that I think too many guys miss when their wife/significant other is in need.
Show up. Be there. Take initiative. Give a shit.
Don’t leave any room to question how much you care.
Being proactive and present also makes room for the next lesson…
#4: 75 Minute Mastery
This is the time window I have to exercise.
Feed windows are every 2 hours, but our feeds in the first week have been ~45 minute productions (sometimes an hour or more).
But here’s why that’s actually a great thing:
Winners become productive and efficient under tight constraints.
Here’s the timeline of my first Friday at home with baby Jack:
I want to continue to excel as a person, in fitness, in business - and these windows are where I’ll make it happen.
It’s honestly refreshing to have such a clear understanding of when I can execute on my goals.
Give me a week and I’ll take a week.
Give me an hour and I’ll get to work.
#5: My Personal Development/Biz Building Just 1000x’d In Value
The 3 main areas of life I’ve poured all my energy into over the past 4+ years:
Mastered my fitness/nutrition, became an Ironman and got in great shape
Strengthened my mindset, improved my perspective on life and learned how to control my emotions
Built a business, escaped Corp. America and took complete control of my income, time and location
Doing all those for myself brought so much fulfillment to my life.
But I have an overwhelming sense that I’ve only scratched the surface on their benefits now that I have a son.
“Singularity of purpose”
BONUS #6: No Delay On Love
I read a few things during my wife’s pregnancy that suggested some guys have a hard time adjusting to dad life and don’t feel an immediate connection to baby.
I read that it can be scary to watch life as you knew it vanish and a new responsibility drop in your lap.
I don’t feel this at all.
The first 12-24 hours of Jack’s life were pure magic as I watched him acclimate to life on Earth.
It’s been beautiful to see his skin flush out and his eyes become more active.
It’s been pure joy to listen to his little squeals and squirms and he becomes more and more alive.
And my guess is that the gift of parenthood is these feelings continue forever as baby never stops growing, changing and evolving.
I’m grateful to have this baby boy and am so eager to give him the grandest life I can dream up.
I love this little dude!!!
