How To Hack Your Way To More Positive Thinking
And 3 adjustments in word choice to help you along the way
This is the first installment of the life philosophy shared within Endurance Philosophy.
I’ll be writing intermittently on philosophies and strategies that have helped me do 2 things:
eliminate negative thought patterns and bad habits
create more positivity and experience more joy in my daily life
Today’s write up is inspired by traction on this tweet:
Changing the words I use started with me needing to change the dominating voice in my head.
I hit my mid-20s and realized that…
my thoughts were overly negative and judgmental
I didn’t question speaking my thoughts into existence
my beliefs followed the words I spoke and fed the thoughts I had
To put it simply: I was a hater.
And the world was constantly reflecting my own views back on to me.
I believed I was a good person at heart, but the reality of my thinking didn’t agree.
After hundreds of hours of solitude and silence in endurance training, I realized my mind was operating in a repetitive loop of thoughts, words and beliefs.
[There is no way I come to this realization without my bike, but that’s a post for another time.]
I started to search for change.
Words are the only way to influence change in this loop. Any change to beliefs or thoughts stems from the spoken word.
I realized that if I could find the strength to not speak negative thoughts into the world, I would create a gap within the loop.
And that’s where I could insert the person I wanted to be.
Through practice and with time, I improved my default thought patterns and started to live my daily life in a more healthy and positive headspace.
I expanded this practice into communication with others and realized that small changes in language can massively dictate the direction and vibe of any conversation.
3 Minor Tweaks In Language That Have Massive Impact
Replace “should” with “could”
This is the example in my original tweet. It can be applied when speaking to others, or to yourself.
Human nature does not react kindly to being told what to do. Because we almost always know what we should do!
Our problem is the walls within our own mind. The self-perceived limits we place on ourselves. The mountains we make out of molehills.
That’s what we have to overcome to achieve success - in anything.
“Could” expands thinking and belief of what’s possible.
We don’t need to be told what to do. We just need 1 person to believe in us.
Using" “could” gives you a chance to be that person for someone else.
Replace “can’t” with “struggling to”
I stole this one from Matthew McConaughey’s book, “Greenlights”.
It’s most applicable when speaking to/about yourself.
In the book, McMonaughey shares how his dad would correct him whenever he said he “can’t” do something. I implemented the idea and was shocked at the immediately positive shift in my mindset.
Saying that I’m “struggling to” suggests that I am working on finding a solution.
I am in process. I am making progress. I am getting there.
And more importantly, I am not some helpless piece of crap with no hope of accomplishing the task at hand!
Replace “try” with more direct and convicted language
This is a new one for me. I’m not perfect with just yet.
Saying “try” leaves the door cracked open for us to delay action our goals.
For example, one of my goals is to qualify for the Ironman World Championship in Kona, Hawaii.
When I say, “I’m trying to qualify for Kona” the goal seem so distant in the future.
When I change my words and say, “I am training to qualify for Kona” all of a sudden it feels like the goal is staring me right in the face.
Suddenly, I feel a natural rise in conviction. I feel pressure and my action becomes clear.
For a more common example, think of the person who says they’re “trying” to lose weight or quit smoking.
There is no such thing as trying to do either of those things. You either are or you aren’t.
Hi Ryan, new to the community and a fan of what I see here.
For what it's worth I see a lot of value in a reframe of 'the problem is...'
I've spent the last few years living in Germany and the people are incredible problem solvers, as the language is really made up of parts and you can pick it apart and re-assemble it with ease.
The challenge I observe consistently within people is that they are surrounded with problems; problems that need to be fixed; problems that won't go away; problems, problems, problems!
'You could try this'
'...das Problem ist!'
I have done my best to eliminate the use of the word from my regular vocabulary and - wouldn't you know it? - I find that I am faced with far fewer... difficulties.
I'm a big fan of using language to improve the state of the human condition and look forward to seeing anything you write further on this topic.
All the best,
Nicholas